I think I need to find more meaningful things to do.

Yeah.

The only solution that comes to my mind is that I totally stop sleeping. Yes, sleeping takes up way too much of my time. If I stop sleeping, maybe I can finish everything I am supposed to finish by the time its all due. Yes.

Nowadays, I am not very certain what language I am speaking in. It's disconcerting to realize that the person is staring at you in bemusement not because you said something highly intelligent and thought provoking but because you changed language mid-sentence. Like a loony.

One of my weak points is that I tend to obsess about certain things or issues pertaining to myself or people around me to the point that the people around me are one slick second away to murdering me. But anyway, my professor told me that I need to improve my vocabulary to include high end scholarly words of which there is a scarcity in my language. Obviously the 'suggestion' such as it was made me all kinds of sad because I was under the (false) assumption that my vocabulary (word-wise) wasn't too shabby. I spent a lot of my time reading vocabulary lists which greatly enervated this said assumption. In fact, I am afraid to speak now in case I end up sounding like some sort of uneducated hick. Which is hardly the case but you know? It's insidious, that one "suggestion" I mean. My hubris was greatly punished. (That's a new word I learned, by the way.) However in terms of 'normal' language, how many people are going to understand me if I go around spouting words such as "imbroglio" which always reminds me of broccoli and evokes the appropriate reaction (in this case: a wrinkling of my nose).

I have three papers due. 26th. 30th. 4th. The first one has to have a minimum of 1500 words, the second 2500 words and the third 2000. All of them require a copious amount of preparation (at least 2 scholarly citations) and have to be wonderfully perfectly wonderful (append more superlatives as you see fit here) and all i can think is, "I wish I had a pig-rabbit."

Has anyone else in my friend list read "Tristam Shandy?" And if you have, did he make you scream bloody murder about every other page? The way my reading is going (which is of course misleading, since at this moment it is going nowhere) I'm going to be a hundred before I finish it. I also have to finish Joseph Andrews because guess what, I decided to write on the book and then realized that...*gasp* hold on, shouldn't I actually finish reading the book before I attempt to analyze it? Yes, a total disaster, I agree.

You might as well ignore my posts from now on because it is ineluctable that they are going to become increasingly erratic and eccentric.

Oh but before you start ignoring me, recommend me a song (or two or three or I dunno, a dozen) that you like to listen to while studying (to curb those desires to start a fracas with whoever is nearest to you, heh).

Okay.

I breathe.

Announcing a temporary hiatus from the world.

So long and thanks for all the fish.

What's up with random people on twitter following you?

And what's up with the creepy love emails I've been getting from my stalker halfway across the world? May he stay there forevah and evah. Though honestly, I should be flattered that at least someone looks at me...that made no sense since he can't look at me and if he did that would be omg so creepy...but I don't! I'm not flattered!

I donated a measly two bucks and got a poppy today and because I'm horribly sensitive like that I spent the whole bus ride to Broadway pretending I wasn't crying cuz I couldn't stop thinking about the dead soldiers and the living ones who wished they were too. Le suckey.

Reading Great Expectations gives me the freakiest dreams. I was in a carriage with convicts the other day. And Joseph Andrews by Thomas Fielding or whoever it is gives me even weirder dreams. God have mercy. So much f'king reading to do I'm about to drown in it. Great Expectations is so beautifully written I want to gorge myself on the subtleties of it however I'm too worried about the impending essay to particularly enjoy in full what I should be enjoying.

Korean is the biggest headache. It has rapidly turned from something I looked forward to learning to something I don't quite give a fuck about. If you'll excuse the French. I blame the professor who is very superficial. Very, very shallow. And I'm not Asian - the brownness kinda gives me away. Anyway, I don't like her method of teaching, I don't like her teaching and frankly, I don't like her. Makes me not want to go to class but damnit it all, I will learn the language even if it kills me.

Only 6 months to go. Merde.

Tomorrow's going to be a long day what with exams and classes and bus rides and helping a friend shop for India and Korea. I'm tempted to hex her but she promised me Jaejoong if she can fit him into her suitcase (hurhur).

Oh and Jane, I saw someone whom I could have sworn was Jaebom the other day. Maybe he came across the border to shop? Haha.

Baibai!

A depth. Some sort of depth. An intricate catharsis. My life is full of fragments and I am titillated by punctuation marks. Or perhaps it is just nothing.

"Death is...just an absence of being." Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead, Tom Stoppard.

So very, very true.




I'm in a funk.

And the sky is always overcast.

Sigh.

I'm in a sigh-ey mood today.

Inexplicably.

A cupcake would be nice. If I liked the icing.

Now that the fever's abating, life (or more importantly, school) reminds me of just how much shi-stuff I have to accomplish. My to-do list is probably peanuts for everyone else but omygah, it makes me tremble.

1. Reading Questions for Humour Class. Due next week. For God's sakes Nafiza, read the bloody articles, cook up something in your head and regurgitate it onto paper. Please.

2. Read Frances Hutchinson's and John Hartley's humour article. It's way overdue. Read Gulliver's Travels and attempt questions.

3. Beg, borrow, steal notes from the two English classes missed.

4. Korean - voice forum? The heck is the teacher talking about? Hand in homework. Get paper back? Learn the vocabulary for next week.

5. FINISH PAPER BY NEXT WEDNESDAY!! To do so, I'll have to begin it. So let's chop it up so I can attempt it without hyperventilating.
   - Research for articles.
   - Ravage book in search for suitable quotes.
   - Plan essay in a logical manner.
   - Write the damn thing.

6. Start Great Expectations.


it's totally doable. As long as I don't procrastinate.
 

I had a nightmare that I failed my paper.

I must be more stressed out than I thought.

And who falls asleep with her head hanging off the bed and wakes up with a headache?

Which rapidly evolves into a killer flu. I'd have to get sick this weekend. Of course.

I'm going to look at look back in anger which is a play. which is what i'm writing my paper on. which is what is giving me nightmares.



fuck my life.

I have a feeling I'm borderline anemic again. Or it just feels like that but since I dislike doctors greatly, I refuse to go find out. I know, I know, educated woman, should know better. But I spent a lot of my childhood in the hospital so I'm sick of it. I hate the impersonal eyes with which they look at you as if you are an object - a sample rather than a person - and well, I hate it.

And to think I wanted to be a doctor. I don't know if I ever wanted to be one in reality or I just cooked up the idea in my head. Pshaw. Anyway, point is I'm tired but I smell really good. Like pineapple and coconut. Haha.

And Rossi, I write in my head on the bus all the time, that's why I write fast. Because I spend about three hours in commute everyday, remember. Lots of times to write. I'd dictate my stuff to my recorder but people already think I'm weird. But you know what annoys me? When I'm in the bus (tryin to mentally compose something, a story maybe) and the  busdriver who loves the sound of his voice, won't shut up. Oh goodness. Repeating the same thing over and over again, trying to be funny (and failing) and gah. I have missed buses just so I wouldn't have to ride with him. It's awkward and he's ignored and then i feel bad for him.

I'm supposed to be studying. 내일 시험이 있거든요. And I suppose I will but I WANNA WATCH SOME DRAMAS, DAMNIT. This self-imposed exile from watching dramas is killing me. :(

So someday, when I'm done sighing, I'm going to watch (and finish watching):
Soul (kdrama)
Style (kdrama)
Voice (yes, Rossi, I'm still not done yet)
Mr. Brain
Easy Fortune something something (Tdrama)
Black and White (Tdrama)
Oroth...er... the Ryo drama? That one.
My Fair Lady (it's just for YEH, kay? I'm a fangirl.)

and there are probably a gajillion others. I'm way behind on my jdramas. Someone recommend some you have watched so I can watch it too. Now i'm going to go memorize how to say memorize. If there's irony, it kills me.

Oh and Syko, thanks for the link woman. I melted all the way to my boots at the anime. =D

Nafiza feels like her icon today.

She really does. And why is Nafiza talking in the third person? Well because Nafiza wants to.

But that's slowly getting old so - before I go to bed -

I got invited to join this group on facebook which is all about forcing facebook to close another group which is saying that the pages of the Quran should be used to wipe one's ass, i.e. as toilet paper.

For fuck's sake. Seriously.

I'm just - I don't know. I could be enraged and outraged and all that stuff and I suppose I am because the stupidity and downright maliciousness of some people never ceases to amaze me. It's ridiculous. Apparently there's a vendetta going on - and I don't want to be involved in it because the people fighting on both sides don't do their homework and if it were up to me, I'd ship them all of to some place like Mars where they can gasp like fish for oxygen assuming the place has some which I'm pretty sure it doesn't.

My cousin was pissed off about it but what can she do? How many people can she shut up? And I'm sure there's someone out there who provoked these people to begin with.

Why can't they live and let live?

And why do I have to be dragged into this stupidity which is all very stupid and pardon me but my eloquence and articulation seem to be dying a very rapid death.

If tomorrow they start killing people for being Muslims then yeah of course i'm going to fight that but today? Apart from telling people to get educated on what they are fighting against - if you hate something, ask yourself why do you hate? What does Islam preach? Instead of relying on stupid news from stupid people who should know better - if you want to know what's in the Quran, pick it up and read it. There are various translations all around.

And just so everyone is clear on this, Muslims believe that the Bible and the Torah are also words of God. And anyone who goes around badmouthing them are stupid fuckers. I'm so irritated by this continuing prosecution of my religion. Why do I have to defend myself, explain myself and my religion? Why is it that when someone Muslim commits a crime, it's Islam that is on trial? People don't say "Arabian Men, Iranian Men," they say "Muslims." The hell? I don't hear them saying "The Christians, the Jews, the Mormons."

And you know, it's the MEN. Women are largely unrepresented. You don't see us hoisting guns on our shoulders and marching around.

The root of all problems.

Men.

I knew it.

Now I'm going to bed.

i have an insane headache.

it's knocking on the insides of my head - yeouch.

and no one believes me when i tell them i'm 25. they think i'm joking.

so i let them think so.

okay, the computer's mocking me with its bright lights. gah.

So... before I succumb to sleep,

1. I love my classes. They are fuuuunnnn. I could do without people eating around me though. What the heck, why is everyone stuffing their faces around me? Huh.

2. Clueless was awesome. Watching it in a Lit class titled something like "Funny things in the 18th Century" was even more awesome.

3. The Korean prof scares me. Most of the time she's speaking away and I'm, "Good lord, what? what? WHAT?!!"

4. I need Buzzer Beat to be finished so I can watch it entirely. Ah, Pi, I think I love you this week.

5. Henna night tentatively planned for Friday.

6. I hope Eid is on Saturday. PUHLEASE GOD, LET THE MOON BE SEEN ON FRIDAY. Kthanx.

7. I have pictures of our epic sweet making for Eid. Tomorrow we'll make a ton of samosas and rolls.

8. If anyone's writing a fanfic and wants a poster for it, ask me. Haha. I like playing with photoshop. For examples, see: http://hibiscusdreams.livejournal.com/

And that's all, I believe. For now.

I feel like blogging. For some reason, I am in a remarkably chipper mood; bouncy, talkative, chipper mood. Keep in mind however that I haven't had a wink of sleep the entire night due to me turning into a sparkly being when Edward's fangs (does he even have those? Or do you have to be devirginized to get them? I didn't read Book 4 so i don't know) anyway, as I was saying, Edward's (maybe existent) fangs reached out of the book and hovered over my neck in search of rich succulent blood - okay fine, I'm spouting rubbish. Whatever. It's 5:05 am and I just had Saheri and prayed Fajr and I should rightfully be heading off to bed (vampiric tendencies, it's already dawn) but I don't feel like sleeping and since I've turned into this hedonistic sort who only does as she feels, I will not.

Wow, that was a long paragraph all about nothing. School starts soon. September 8th to be specific and I have to admit that I have two warring feelings about it. Anticipation and Reluctance (capitalized because well...just because). Anticipation because, as Rossi likes to reiterate on a regular basis, we are nerds like that and Reluctance because my life as a Hedonist will come to a smacking end. I've been wanting to do this great big Summer post but it just might linger in my things to be done list and not happen. Depends on how long this chipper mood lasts. I was going to put up pictures and everything, y'all.

So I finished watching Partners and I'm kinda bummed that there was no kiss. But the hand holding was romantic enough but damnit, Dong Wook has pretty lips and I wanted a kiss!!! It makes me want to watch My Girl again and that was painful enough the first time around. I never did see the big deal about the Da Hae/Dong Wook ship though. I rather liked the Jun Ki/Da Hae pair better but that's just me. Anyways, I really like his character in Partner. And the girl too. She mostly does serious roles like these and I'm downloading In-Soon is Pretty to give her another go. Honey Lee was absolutely amazing and I was torn between admiring her earrings and being envious of her gorgeousness. I like how the women characters in this drama were all so strong and you know, assertive. Even the wife. She kicked ass, man. I reckon the calibre of Korean dramas is increasing or I'm just getting better at choosing what to watch and what to avoid.

I really want to watch YEH's new drama but I'm afraid that I'll get addicted to it and I hate waiting for subs/episodes. I agree that the plot is trite and has been done a million times but it's YEH, you guys. She has never done such a role and I'm peachy pleased that she did something different this time round. I would love it if she chose something a bit darker, something that challenges her more than finding it difficult to move around in the latest Dior creation but there's still the future and hopefully she grows as an artiste.

I know I used the word "Fan Girl" in the title above but actually, that is a total lie. I am a fan but I'm not a really avid fan. I don't even want the autographs of any of the people I mentioned; I don't want ANYONE's autograph and I wouldn't line up to meet anyone. I wouldn't even purchase celebrity related items (not dramas etc but more like y'noe, a t-shirt or a cup or a magazine). I don't know if it's because I'm selfish but I have never been the kind who 'worships' anyone to that extent. I see fans waiting for celebrities at the airport, lining up along roadsides, crying for them and I go.. 'eh?' I do like a lot of actors, actresses but my interests are varied and my attention is fickle. I could fall in love with a book and spend time and money looking for it; in shops; go out of my way to visit used bookstores but people? Pweh.

Okay now I'm sleepy.

Oyasumi. Or should it be 잘 자!

Ramadan Mubarak if there are any other Muslims on my friendlist that I don't know of.

So today is the second day of the fast and considering that I'm going without food and water for about 16hrs/day, it's not that big of a deal. But that might be because I do absolutely nothing right now; at least nothing that needs the energy I have in such finite quantities. I dare say the situation will undergo a drastic change once school starts but I prefer not to think about that until one day before.

It's curious but I feel totally mellow when I'm fasting. As if I can forgive anything and endure everything. Maybe because I have more patience right now than I would before but I rather thought it would be the other way round.

And it's made me totally empathize with people who are hungry because they don't have a choice because seriously 5 minutes before I open my fast, my entire existence centers around what seems to be a gaping hole that is my stomach and it's all I can do it sit there and wait for the clock to tick by, counting down the minutes till I get some sustenance. And I imagine, what it must be like to be actually living like that. To have no choice; to have your days be ruled by your hunger. Food, that so many of us take for granted - hell, a lot of us (including me) are nit picky eaters; choosing what to eat and wrinkling our nose at others. I'm all shamefaced now.

Length: 20 episodes
Hardsubbed by Bon Subs

Synopsis: City Hall is a drama that will deal with politics in a romantic comedy genre. It’s about the happenings between a young woman mayor and an elite bureaucrat. Jo Gook is an exceedingly smart government official. He passed the Higher Civil Service quickly, and basically is the perfect guy. But being a deputy mayor is not enough for him. He lives with the dream of becoming South Korea’s President. He should have easily gone straight to the top, but due to an unexpected incident, he gets dispatched as a deputy mayor for a provincial small town, Inju City, where Shin Mi Rae was working. Shin Mi Rae is a low-ranking secretary in Inju, but she works her way up in becoming the youngest City Mayor. As their paths met, they have to deal with each other’s personal and social differences. But despite their constant bickerings, would they end up in each other’s arms?


My (lengthy) thoughts: I'll be honest. I downloaded the first episode because I like Kim Sun Ah - watched a bit and then stopped figuring it was too serious to continue. But it seemed interesting and I kind of like the idea of empowering women so I figured, hell why not? So I watched the first episode and then the second one and then...I went sort of crazy about it to the point that it was all I talked about much to the annoyance of my friends and family. I was watching Brilliant Legacy at the same time but it paled in comparison to the rich tapestry of emotions and characterizations in City Hall.

Yes, I said it. Brilliant Legacy just sort of flailed when compared to City Hall and I am in no way biased when I say that. I won't do a comparison because obviously they are two different dramas, dealing with different things but hell, let me just say that Brilliant Legacy would have put up a better fight had it ended faster.

Now on to City Hall. Kim Sun Ah of the famed My Name is Kim Sam Soon is simply speaking brilliant as Shin Mi Rae in City Hall. Shin Mi Rae is a bit of the woman we are and at the end, the woman we wish to be. She is not perfect by any means - a pushover, easy bullied, naive but God, she has dignity. When it matters, she has dignity and the grace to handle a situation that is so often missing from Korean dramas. No matter how clutzy Shin Mi Rae is, she's honest - both about her feelings and her actions and she refuses to compromise on her morals and scruples. I loved her maturity when it comes to love. She says herself that she's not some twenty year old who has to believe in prince charmings but at the same time she's not a cold cynical woman who has been hardened by life and the subsequent betrayals fate has dealt her. Her strength when it comes to voicing her opinions and sticking to what she believes in is something a lot of us should learn from and it is beautifully juxtaposed by the silliness that is so essentially her.

Cha Seung Won is my new hero. The man is awesome in his role as Jo Guk. I wasn't familiar with him before this and being the shallow sort I am, I was all..eh...but he's not pretty! However after seeing him in the first episode, I was left eating my own words. Yes, he doesn't have the pretty boy features but he is so charismatic that you'll be left blinking and wondering if you were blind when you thought him unattractive. He delivers his character with such sincerity that you can tell when he falls in love with Shin Mi Rae, his wonder at her and his internal struggle with his own feelings.

Even though the synopsis makes it seem as though the movie is all about romance, it does deal with politics. Not in as much depth or with as much seriousness but it does show the political workings in Korea though I'm not sure how exact or accurate it is.

The strength of the drama for me was the strong cast and the plot. Usually there are moments in the drama where you are entirely disgusted with the heroine for her 'goodness' because come on now, no one is that much of a saint. But in City Hall, they give you a real people, with real issues and in real situations. And best of all, you can empathize with the heroine, laugh at her antics, aww at her emotions but you won't cringe at her. The chemistry between Cha Seung Won and Kim Sun Ah is way more exciting than the chemistry between her and Hyun Bin. Perhaps because Cha Seung Won is older and I don't know...a bit more probable than Hyun Bin. Heh. Either ways, watch the drama and decide for yourself.

So I was puttering around with photoshop and since I was interested, I thought I'd try making some icons... so I did.



( Because I see the world a bit differently... )